hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
