Are we in a gay sports bar?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
