You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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