So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize