I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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