Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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