Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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