You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
