So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I made him laugh his dick is mine
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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