I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
