Your tits are I can't wait for
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
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And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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