Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize