Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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