Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Randomize
