my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
