PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
