Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
