We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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