only if we run a train.
done.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
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she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
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You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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