Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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