They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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