Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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