Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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