She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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