I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
two words...techno handjob
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
