If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
