It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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