For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
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