ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You're like the curious george of whores
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i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
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I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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