when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize