Someone shit on the floor
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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