toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
