some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
