I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize