Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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