you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
