I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
