I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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