There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
