Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
