I accidentally had phone sex last night
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
