Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
