Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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