i need an iv and a liver transplant
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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