Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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