I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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