do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
