I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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