I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
