He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
