and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
