I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
