it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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