Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
