Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
