the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
