I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
