Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize