Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
