did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
