Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He shit in the fireplace
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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