I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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