at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
