i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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