Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low

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(704): so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low http://tfl.nu/2nm4

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(805): View more from California

Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!

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(805): Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter! http://tfl.nu/vj10

Replies (9) Good night (2751) Bad night (996)
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(845): View more from New York

what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?

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(845): what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much? http://tfl.nu/y3h1

Replies (23) Good night (3373) Bad night (653)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night

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(732): so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night http://tfl.nu/ig0k

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(704): View more from North Carolina

we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over

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(704): we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over http://tfl.nu/0v4z

Replies (14) Good night (4894) Bad night (1347)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

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(215): its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass. http://tfl.nu/z2s4

Replies (17) Good night (862) Bad night (5880)
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(319): View more from Iowa

he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"

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(319): he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you" http://tfl.nu/5pu4

Replies (18) Good night (5252) Bad night (2559)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine

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(512): Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine http://tfl.nu/sllr

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(763): View more from Minnesota

chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30

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(763): chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30 http://tfl.nu/6e6v

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(520): View more from Arizona

there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.

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(520): there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands. http://tfl.nu/q8hf

Replies (16) Good night (2252) Bad night (1539)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.

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(403): I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress. http://tfl.nu/setw

Replies (2) Good night (1533) Bad night (701)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity

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(218): He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity http://tfl.nu/7l4i

Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (574)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.

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(479): Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though. http://tfl.nu/vam2

Replies (0) Good night (588) Bad night (328)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.

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(+44): Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake. http://tfl.nu/d4ep

Replies (2) Good night (1054) Bad night (293)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.

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(414): You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities. http://tfl.nu/nk4h

Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (177)

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