Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.

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  (818): people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight. http://tfl.nu/8h1f
  Replies (7) Good night (3000) Bad night (526)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again

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  (906): I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again http://tfl.nu/daze
  Replies (83) Good night (644) Bad night (3194)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  We are no longer friends.

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  (613): New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands. (1-613): We are no longer friends. http://tfl.nu/wlk1
  Replies (28) Good night (915) Bad night (3578)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.

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  (210): this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life. http://tfl.nu/lflc
  Replies (37) Good night (4986) Bad night (1122)
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  (805): View more from California

  just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.

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  (805): just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you. http://tfl.nu/8wpn
  Replies (7) Good night (1122) Bad night (3332)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  without a question

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  (860): I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox (1-860): without a question http://tfl.nu/lm2z
  Replies (10) Good night (4163) Bad night (871)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.

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  (508): I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long. http://tfl.nu/opva
  Replies (15) Good night (1417) Bad night (2849)
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  (661): View more from California

  I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.

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  (661): I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report. http://tfl.nu/3xqn
  Replies (9) Good night (3940) Bad night (738)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy

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  (217): I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy http://tfl.nu/0wt3
  Replies (5) Good night (1548) Bad night (549)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.

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  (334): It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls. http://tfl.nu/cfx1
  Replies (7) Good night (1996) Bad night (764)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.

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  (954): Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway. http://tfl.nu/lib4
  Replies (12) Good night (619) Bad night (2373)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.

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  (304): drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth. http://tfl.nu/cmgz
  Replies (7) Good night (1614) Bad night (851)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...

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  (501): After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well... http://tfl.nu/7bm0
  Replies (3) Good night (777) Bad night (805)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen

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  (610): Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen http://tfl.nu/wlxj
  Replies (5) Good night (937) Bad night (322)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED

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  (701): Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED http://tfl.nu/76ld
  Replies (5) Good night (481) Bad night (217)

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