Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

Fav 9 1063 4030
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

Fav 73 1634 18043
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

Fav 16 5392 1181
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old

Fav 23 2144 7170
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole

Fav 4 2330 1218
share tweet
(415): View more from California

I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.

Fav 13 3340 1151
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.

Fav 4 2807 1504
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park

Fav 0 523 372
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us

Fav 0 101 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT