Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
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There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
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I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.