my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us