We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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