Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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